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For example, there’s the power of Nicki Minaj’s Pink Friday era, during which she juxtaposed her bubble gum pink aesthetic with her debut album’s earth-rattling beats.
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“The men can do anything and they will be praised, but I think of people like Lil’ Kim and Nicki as women who build something authentic for themselves in a male dominated world,” Jonathan, a 21-year-old artist from Brooklyn who’s obsessed with female emcees, tells me.
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The female icons we love tend to be unapologetically feminine, while also making it very clear that doing so doesn’t make you weak - it actually makes you powerful as fuck. “I suspect that celebrity culture has become so important to many queer folx because theater has long been a home for the ‘others’ in our culture,’” Ashera DeRosa, a licensed marriage and family therapist who works with LGBTQ+ clients, tells me.įor many gay men, that otherness is often tied to our expressions of femininity, a trait that’s frequently punished by our peers and family whenever we dare to express it. But for the LGBTQ+ community, that boldness carried a meaningful connection. Think: icons like Madonna or Lady Gaga, who get away with behaving in ways that would be deemed completely socially unacceptable in any other context. If there is one characteristic shared by the powerful women that gay men love, it’s that they all incorporate bold - borderline theatrical - clothes and performances into their personas. from that point forward their purpose on earth becomes supporting this woman so hard that the force of their love for her could literally kill them.”īut why? Why are so many of us obsessed with women in entertainment - and, more importantly, does this obsession reek of mommy issues, or is there a deeper reason we gravitate toward them? A viral tweet by comedian Caleb Hearon said it best: “when gay boys turn 13 years old the universe assigns them one woman working in entertainment. My friend Ashton is obsessed with Mariah Carey, Jonathan has been to at least ten Christina Aguilera concerts, and Erwin goes to every Taylor Swift-themed party he can find. Once I moved to New York and met more queer people, I quickly realized that my experience wasn’t unique most of my gay friends had also grown up worshipping famous women. Since then, I’ve developed intimate (if entirely unreciprocated) relationships with many more famous women: Selena Quintanilla, Nicki Minaj, and Carly Rae Jepsen are just a few. My love for Cher transcended fandom - I was a stan, long before the internet coined the term. Whenever I was sad, I played “Believe” on my iPod nano and put feathers in my hair to recreate the music video (with the door locked, obviously). When I learned who Cher was years later, I became obsessed with both her look and her discography.
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All I knew was that the music I was hearing made me feel free. I couldn’t tell if the person singing was a man or a woman, where they came from, or what, exactly, they were singing about. I knew there was something different about me when I first heard Cher’s “Believe.” Her robot voice belted over the radio while I was on my way to my first grade class, and the sheer strength of her vocals shook my organs.